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I Got Threes!!

It seems to have been the week of evaluations.  Tina, aka lunassa, had her work eval, and did very well.  Congrats, Tina!  Myself, I had my First Year Evaluation on Thursday.  I have to tell you, I was nervous.  Not because I didn't think I wouldn't do well, because I know how I work and I think I'm good at my job.  But because the person doing my eval is the same person who threatened me and falsely accused me a neglecting a patient some months back.  Not to mention a few of my co workers who are very good at their jobs received horrible reviews.  So I prepped myself for the worse, and put up my defensive front. 

I was so surprised. 

I received threes on almost everything, except for two categories, where I received twos. ( Two is meets expectations, and three is exceeds expectations.)  The twos were in safety (I had a fall that I really couldn't have prevented about two or so weeks ago, but still, they are hold me accountable, because I was the aide on duty, and I do understand this.), and in education (apparently, I can take on tasks and projects for my Unit Manager, and I was not aware of this.)  But I heard nothing but praise from Tammie, which really caught me off guard.  I left out of there feeling really good about the job I'm doing, and myself.  The raise I'll get is only 1.5%, but that's not a reflection of me; they don't give high raises to anyone at Valley Health.  At least someone in management knows that I'm doing a good job, and told me so.  To me, that is worth more than the raise.

I've been looking more into the EMT program, as there are two classes starting up soon.  I may or may not get in, as there are only 20 slots.  Now, I'm a little peeved, because the lady who I've been emailing back and forth with told me that I was on the list for those who want to attend any upcoming classes.  Yet, when I called today, they had no idea of who I am and didn't know anything about the list.  So, I don't know if I'll get in on this go around.  Which, sadly, means I may have to wait 6 months, or even a year, before I can get into this class.  The EMT Basic classes are only done through the Fire Stations, not the local community college.  So, instead of getting upset and angry, I'm looking to see what else I can do with my time.  I've been leaning heavily towards volunteer work, say at the Shelter For Abused Women, C-Cap, the local free clinic, or running with the local EMS squad as an aide.  I've always loved volunteering, and this may be the way to go.  As I told John tonight, I'm torn about this.  Part of me wants to advance in my career, to get a higher paying job and more health care experience.  The other part of me loves what I'm doing right now, and feels that, if it's not broken, don't fix it.  It's something for me to start thinking about.

I went back to the psych, Dr. Bob, today.  We've both decided to up my dosage of Effexor XR from 75mg, to 150mg.  I've been rather depressed lately, not to mention I have noticed that my mood swings have been a lot more frequent.  The desire for bad compulsive habits is haunting me, and I need to do something about it before it escalates.  I've been feeling some tension towards John, and that is usually the first red flag with my depression.  We talked about how the stress of planning the wedding and my mother has been beating me down.  We also talked about how my libido is virtually non existant these days.  I just have no sexual drive in any form, and that is something that upping the dosage of my meds can help.  I brought all of these things up with John over dinner, because he's part of my life, and he needs to know how I'm feeling.  I'm still getting used to being able to talk to him about my depression, but I'm getting better at it.  We talked over sushi, and it felt so good to get things out in the open.  One of our greatest strengths as a couple has always been the open line of communication we have with each other.  We were going to see The Simpsons movie, but having been up all day yesterday, and today, I was dead tired, and needed to try to reset my internal clock for work this weekend.  But all in all, things are going well. 

On the wedding front, I have booked the ceremony and reception sites!  The two big things are under my belt, and now everything else will fall into place.  I also discovered that David's Bridal DOES NOT carry Alfred Angelo ... the brand I'm using for the Bridesmaid outfits.  They have a mock brand called Michaelangelo.  So, Tina and Katie, I'll bring all the info on where to get Alfred Angelo in Albany, along with the books of outfits, when I come to visit in October.

I'm counting down the days until Rhinebeck (seriously, I have a ticker on my knitting blog!)  I am officially approved for the time off, so John and I will for certain be there!  We'll leave on Friday morning and stay through Monday morning.  I can't wait to see everyone!  It's been almost a year since I was up there to see all of you in New York, and that has been far too long.  If I could get up more often, believe me, I would.  I think I may try to take a long weekend in February or March and come up ... just me.  But like I said, I miss all of you so badly, and I can't wait ...2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days ... and counting!

Camping

For those of you who don't read my knitting blog, I thought I would post this one again for ya'll.

John and I drove up Skyline Drive this weekend for an over night camping trip. It was a lot of fun, and it's so nice to finally be with someone who enjoys camping. I always wanted to go as a child, but my mother hates sleeping outside in a tent, and dad is more of a hiker, not a camper. I went a few times in Girl Scouts, and then when I was in the SCA. But this was such a great weekend. We managed to pitch the tent without screaming and killing each other. So, without further ado, PICTURES!








And yes, the timer on John's camera does work!



This deer was sooo close! I just wish that I had gotten to my camera in time, when it was less than 50 feet from me.


That wasn't the only wild life we saw! On the drive back, a black bear cub crossed in front of us, but it moved to quick to get a picture.

And, my favorite picture from the weekend.





And finally, I need some knitting advice. I just bought EIGHT skeins of Cascade 220, for $24, from a nice lady on Ravelry. I want to make a sweater, I just don't know which one. This is the yarn, a nice bright turquoise.  Totally me, no?

Ravelry .... and a little more Lupin!

So, again, I am guilty of not posting on Live Journal.  I've been posting on Blogger A LOT, mostly about knitting, and lately, Harry Potter.  Then, I received my invite to Ravelry yesterday, so I'm busy getting that in order as well.

This whole new schedule of working two 12 hours shifts, and then having two to three days off before working two days in a row again, is really working out.  I think my body is finally used to it.  Things at work are steady.  The whole new ban on smoking is getting under some people's skin, but with me, it's really not that bad.  I can hold off until I take my lunch break around 2am, and then I just take a walk across the street and sit on the side walk. (We can only go on our lunch break, and we have to go off the property.)   It's very quiet and peaceful out at night, and it's actually a very welcome break to get off of the floor for awhile.  The only part about the smoking ban is that, when ever upper administration is there, we are little getting hassled about smoking.  They'll say things like, "I smell smoke on you.  Do you smoke?" or "How is the quitting smoking coming along", when they clearly know that you aren't trying to quit.  So, yeah, I'm glad I work at night, or I'd get fired.

So, I saw Order of the Phoenix! 

John and I have slowly been putting ideas together for the wedding.  I've put the deposit down on the church, and am calling Jimmy's Steak and Seafood about the reception this week.  Those are the two things that I want to get done now.  We've also decided on where we want to go on the honeymoon ... San Fransisco!  It's my favorite place to visit, vacation wise, and John really wants to see it.  So, now it's a matter of figuring out how much money we'll need.  We have over a year to save, so I'm not worried.

Well, I'm working this weekend, and since I'm awake, I want to work on Ravelry a bit.

Big Butter Jesus

I heard this song a couple months ago on the Bob and Tom show, driving home in the morning. I laugh so hard every time I hear it! For those of you easily offended .... don't listen! LOL


Funny song ... I get a kick out of it every time I hear it.

Grr

I can't log into Gmail.

I can't get my sewing machine needle to pick up the lower bobbin thread.

I don't even know if I should try to knit right now.

GRRR.

4th of July ....Picture Goodness

Last night, John and I met up with Corey, and headed over to Mom and Dad's for great food, and explosions.  Well, Dad lighting off fireworks in the driveway that is.  This is a yearly tradition, and watching my Dad light things on fire is always a good time!

Before I post the photos, I have some great news on the wedding front.  Last night, I tried on my Mom's wedding gown .... and it fits!  I just needs to be taken up about a 1/2 inch in the shoulder, and hemmed.  I feel so happy ...... it's just so cool that I can wear my Mom's gown.



I always have a great time on the 4th with my family.  It's a tradition to do the whole fireworks in the driveway thing and has been since I was a little kid.

Now that I'm working 12 hours shifts, I get more days off.  So today, I'm getting my hair cut, shopping for a couple birthday gifts and yarn swaps, and finally ... FINALLY going to learn to use my sewing machine!
Guess what?

JOHN PROPOSED!!!!!


That's right folks ... it's official!  John and I are getting married!!!!!  

I took a short nap this afternoon, and John woke me up, to let me know dinner was ready.  He had candles lit on the table, and make very yummy General Tso's Chicken.  He also had a bottle of dry Riesling that he brought back from New York.  We ate, and then he told me to close my eyes.  When I opened them, there was a box of Russell Stover Caramels in front of me, and him beside me on bended knee!  He asked, and I said, "Of course I'll marry you!" 

I'm so happy.





It's white gold and amethyst.  I just LOVE it. 

Reflection

I'm hanging out in the bedroom, because I just re-organized my yarn stash, and now I'm futzing around on I-Tunes.  I just came across a song that I had forgot that I loved so much, and actually, a whole album.  Simon and Garfunkel's "Bookends" ... my favorite album of theirs (besides Live in Central Park, but that is more of a greatest hits thing).  Anyhoo, there are two songs that I love the most on "Bookends".  One is Old Friends.  This song makes me so calm and peaceful.  It makes me think of how I will be when I'm an old lady.  When memories become more like great novels than last year's cinema classic.  The second one is America.  I remember listening to this song on my Senior Band Trip, on the bus ride back from Toronto.  It makes me remember who I was, and see who I am today.  How I was so full of hope yet full of despair at the same time (with the depression and all.)  How I came across as bold and loved by all, but really, I just wanted to die.  But then I think of how far I've come, and where I am now ..... and where I am going.  I just love that song so much.  This whole album makes me feel nostalgic.  And, yes, sometimes for me, that is a good thing.


America (P.Simon and A. Garfunkel)

let us be lovers well marry our fortunes together
I've got some real estate here in my bag
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and mrs. wagner pies
And we walked off to look for america
kathy, I said as we boarded a greyhound in pittsburgh
michigan seems like a dream to me now
It took me four days to hitchhike from saginaw
I've gone to look for america

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said be careful his bow tie is really a camera

toss me a cigarette, I think theres one in my raincoat
we smoked the last one an hour ago
So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
And the moon rose over an open field

kathy, I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
Counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike
They've all gone to look for america
All gone to look for america
All gone to look for america

Charity Knitting- and I need YOUR help

I've posted this many places, but please .... go check out the blog.

Hey folks! I have just started a new project, to try to warm up the homeless in the city I live in, Winchester, VA, this winter coming.

Warm Up Winc

I know that we're all busy knitting for various charities, but when my mom (who works for the city government), told me that we had THREE tent cities last year, I just had to do something. And I thought that I would enlist some of ya'll to help, if you're up to it.

My goal right now is small, but I'm thinking of holding a few contests as well for insentive, for those who join up. And, ya know, to make it fun!

So please, go check it out!

Just Me

John is in upper state NY right now, at his family reunion.  I'm happy for some time alone, but the truth is ... I MISS HIM LIKE CRAZY ALREADY!  But, he'll get to see his Grammie, who starts chemo in August, and I know he really misses her.

He took some great photos of me last night.  It was nice to have some photos of just me, since I seem to always be the one behind the camera.  And yes, I am growing my hair back out.  I want to have it long for my wedding next year, and I figure that is about how long it's going to take to get it to my shoulders or below.






Now, I must go to work.  But I like my job, now that I'm on Skilled, so it's really not a bad thing.